If you are the parent of a child from the age of 9-17 then you are probably familiar with the latest video game craze, Fornite. This addictive battle game has taken control of children's social lives and thumbs everywhere. And my son is no exception. Being a childhood gamer myself, I understand the addiction to the realistic graphics and games that let you explore the in's and out's of every town. But even a gamer-mom knows that there needs to be some limits around the time a child spends playing video games. Here's how I set some rules to keep my son's academics and social life in tacked.
I always took pride in telling people how my son loved to play outside rather than sit on a video game all day. I often compared him to my childhood self, who would stay outside from morning until the street lights came on. That was until he turned 11 and was introduced to the latest video game sensation, Fortnite. Now, I admit that I can remember being his age and being obsessed with Super Mario 64, Goldeneye 007 and Grand Theft Auto, but my son will literally sit on his video game yelling at his friends for 12 hours straight if I let him. Even when he is not playing Fortnite, he is perfectly content with watching others on YouTube play. And it’s clear that with its billions of views, these YouTube videos don’t have only my son hooked.
I’ll never forget the day we went to Game Stop to purchase the game, only to find out that it could be downloaded for free (real slick Fortnite creators!) So how are the creators profiting off of this craze, you ask? V-Bucks. If you live with a Fortnite gamer, then no explanation needed, I’m sure. But for those of you who do not know, V bucks are in-game currency used to make in-game purchases such as weapons, “skins” (clothing) for the characters, resources etc. Beware parents—my son once spent $150.00 on my credit card, which was attached to the PayPal account that I used to setup the game initially. Roughly fifteen transactions of $9.99 later and without my knowledge, I was left to foot the bill. Of course, this did not go without punishment for my son. He spent the next month doing chores ranging from $.50-$5.00 to make up the money that he spent.
While I am not a big fan of games that glorify killing your opponents, if we, parents choose to let our children play these graphic games then we must continue the conversation about gaming vs. reality. This is a conversation that is had frequently in my house in an effort to keep the desensitization process at bay.
When we let our children venture out to do seemingly harmless things like play video games, go out with a group of friends or walk to the store by themselves, it’s with the assumption that they will follow the blue print that we’ve laid out for them their whole lives. We trust in the morals that we’ve instilled and uncanny descriptions of life’s highs and lows that we’ve shared. But our responsibility does not stop there. While our children remain under our care, we must continue to supervise, have important (and sometimes uncomfortable) conversations and help steer from time to time. This includes setting rules and boundaries and sticking to them.
Here are some of the rules I set around gaming in my home:
1.) No video games before 9am. If you’re child plays Fortnite, then you know how “animated” they can be while in a match. I’d rather not be woken up at 6am by the screeching sound of my pre-teen, upset that his teammate is “doo doo brother!” (It’s a Fornite thing- made famous by Daequan…ask your kids.)
2.) No video games until your room is clean and your chores are done. As in the real world, no play until business is taken care of. He’ll appreciate the lesson one day.
3.) No video games during the week. Some may think this rule is a bit harsh, but I don’t want to give my son the opportunity to be distracted by his urge to rush and play. Like my grandma used to say, “you better know your lessons like you know those games!”
4.) No cursing! Yes, I’m that old-school parent who does not allow their child to curse in their presence. Even at 33 years old I try not to curse in front of my parents. It’s a respect thing. If they curse in front of you- imagine what they are saying when you’re not around.
5.) If your friends are on speaker phone while you’re playing, warn them not to curse either. I have no problem telling someone else’s 12-year-old to watch their mouth. They may not be required to respect their own momma, but they’re going to respect me.
6.) Periodic breaks are a must! I don’t mean 15-minute breaks- I mean 2-3 hour breaks. As I said before, my son will stay glued to his PlayStation for more than 12 hours if I allow him to. While I do believe that video games can provide some positive mental stimulation and problem-solving skills, too much of anything is never good for you. And let’s be real- I like my kid and want to be able to spend some quality with him. Taking breaks allows for more family interaction, social engagement and time to get fresh air.
What are some gaming rules that you have set for your kids? Share with the TLU family below!
Love and positivity!